Sentences Not to Include in Your Second Novel

After completing my manuscript for second literary horror novel, Monstrous, I feel compelled to once again list what I consider silly typos. So, without further ado, and because you demanded it (or, at least, the author wanted it), here are more sentences not to include in your book...

Sentences Not to Include in Your Second Novel

p. 453: Miguel stared downward with widened eyes. When he looked up, they were going uphill. 
Somebody – please – grab those eyeballs. –Editor’s Note.

p. 203: She nodded, waited a beat, and then raised her hands to attempt to quiet them.

Now that's a very odd way to try to make your hands quiet. –Ed.

Even Dwight chuckled and wiped his eyes off.

Poor Dwight. How will he see? And not with the eyeballs again! –Ed.

The man behind him had no face whatsoever. He had indentations where eyes, a nose and mouth should have been. Before they reached the bus, someone screamed.

Someone should scream; this man’s facial features are out of control. Stop them before they reach the bus –Ed.

His words, delivered so quickly, slid into her as sharply as any blade wood.

Sharp words, indeed. –Ed.

P. 279: John was stunned by how quickly Joshua observed things. For a stoner, he was observant and quick-wittered.

Good thing Joshua has his witters about him. –Ed.