Marvel Two-in-One #1:T In Which the Thing (aka Ben Grimm) proves to be a jerk with the Man-Thing

Marvel Two-in-One  #1, The Thing and The Man-Thing. 1974.  

Writer: Steve Gerber. Artist: the legendary Gil Kane.

I had not known this was a bad early 1970's comic in which the Thing proves less than heroic.

In this issue, writer Steve Gerber gives both monsters a chance at being human again, but also reverts them back to their frightening forms. There's only one problem. Ted Sallis’ mind, as the Man-Thing, is broken. He's insane. Stallis is a shambling thing doomed to wander the swamps with no cognitive connection to his surroundings, save for observations and reactions. Sall is a walking EC horror comic.

So, Gerber's treatment is twisted and merciless. But it is his depiction of Ben Grimm (aka the Thing) that is notably mean-spirited.

In the opening pages, Ben Grimm terrifies a quiet, near-retirement-age shopkeeper, simply because Ben can’t stand that the Man-Thing has stolen his moniker. Or at least half of his name. The shopkeeper is left having palpitations and nearly passing out, with spots floating around his head. He is reduced to sitting, holding his head in his hands. 

"I've been a good man -- a religious man! I've done an honest business for forty-five years--!" he bemoans. "So...why me, lord? Why did you send him to me?" 

He is in such a state because Ben is envious and jealous. 

Oh, and then ol’ Ben hops a Greyhound and makes everyone seated around him sweat with fear. 

Of course, to get off the bus, the Thing bullies the bus driver.

"Hang yer blasted regulations!" the Thing say. "I say I want off! Now, do I haveta lean on ya-- or can we cooperate?"

"Rules.... were made to be...broken, I always say...!" the bus driver replies.

Notice the driver sweating. Everyone sweats around the Thing because he is a scary and mean character in this issue.

And don’t forget that at the first opportunity, Ben (as the Thing, no less), brutally swats Sallis aside because Sallis argues that brute force alone cannot defeat the son of the Molecule Man, the story's center-stage villain. Considering the disparity in their power levels here, one wonders why Sallis even survives the blow. But not for too long. The power-level discrepancy is left in the writer's hands. And readers can't have a dead Sallis, which translates a dead Man-Thing. So, needless to say, Sallis survives the brutal blow. And this, just after Ben and Sallis strike a tentative bond as allies and perhaps buddies. Ben merely decides to let him have it over a simple disagreement. 

In fact, even when Ted Sallis and Ben Grimm are in human form, Ben is still needlessly mean.

"But there me facilities here we can utlilize. We can't give up hope now!" Sallis says as they stroll through dusky Citrusville, Florida. "I meant what I said about hope, Ben!"

"Sallis--do me a favor, huh? Shut yer blasted trap already! I like  ya too much ta wanna knock yer teeth out ta keep my sanity!"

Ben's retort is particularly nasty, considering that once Ted Sallis is the Man-Thing, his sanity vanishes instantly. So Ben's mocking Sallis' mental instability and threatening him for being optimistic.

Getting back to the Molecule Man, the one-shot story's villain, behold his new and "more fearsome manner of garb" - a speedo combined with a lightning bolt design. He will strike fear into the hearts of beachgoers everywhere.

But, don’t worry. Even though the Thing has bullied, terrified and hit those weaker around him, he lets the Molecule Man wither away to dust because the villain killed a man just of spite. The lesson here is clear. Compared to the dastardly villain, the Thing is supposed to be heroic. Only he isn’t.  He’s unlikeable, more ill-tempered than in usual portrayals, with a short fuse and not a single kind word for those around him. Some hero. In short, Ben Grimm is a jerk in this odd, unusual and off-putting portrayal.